Monday, May 4, 2009

CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIPS

It's not uncommon for a person suffering from an eating disorder to also suffer from a lack of maturity in dealing with relationships. This is primarily due to avoidance of many social situations during and because of their disease. One of the most fearful parts of being in an open and honest relationship is dealing with the conflict that is unavoidable if both parties are being true to their beliefs and opinions. If you are stuck inside a self-prison of anorexia or bulimia, you are likely to also be very concerned about always pleasing those around you....DON'T ROCK THE BOAT!! You will avoid speaking your own truth to avoid making others angry or even risking that they might disagree with you. It's very painful to be in a position where someone close to you is angry with you, or doesn't agree with you. And if you are ill with an eating disorder, the fear of criticism is so overwhelming that you will likely go along whether you agree or not, just to avoid a conflict.
But if you are working through recovery, learning how to deal with conflict in relationships is a very important issue. You can't be true to who you are if you don't ever examine your own truth and speak it. We are each individuals, in our physical make-up, our values, and the decisions we make about how we choose to live our lives.
Limiting ourselves, or refraining from allowing ourselves to grow will only keep us sick and lonely. This is an area that takes "exposure", i.e. practice. Gradually, the more you challenge yourself to face up to someone whether or not they think the way you do, the stronger you become in your belief in yourself. And ultimately, the people in your life will respect you more for being who you really are, instead of hiding behind others' expectations.