This past week has been a bit of a blur, after undergoing spinal fusion surgery exactly one week ago today. Trying to manage pain, adjust to basically not doing anything (for now), and fighting with those perfectionistic/control issues I have about managing my household in a certain way....I'm finally feeling more "normal", whatever that is. I guess you could say I am in recovery..again...but definitely much different from eating disorder recovery!! I had several people ask me before this surgery if I was concerned about how it might affect my ED recovery. I really had none, and still don't.....YAY!! My previous surgery, right about three years ago, directly involved my stomach, so I was NPO (nothing by mouth) for five entire days. I was already struggling a bit with the beginning of a relapse before that surgery, and being unable to eat or drink for five days set me up royally for a total relapse. It was horrible.
But going into this surgery, I knew I would be OK. I know where my mind is, and while I may always be vulnerable, I don't feel fragile at all. So this past week has been painful, but that's expected. I'm now in less pain, moving better, and today I decided to put my contacts in for the first time in a week, and a little make-up. So I know I am feeling better. In terms of eating...the first few days were hard because I had no appetite, and had off/on nausea, perhaps from the pain medication..not sure. But I ate anyway, and I continued to choose foods and drinks that were higher in calories, so I won't fall back. Example...using a Bagel to make a sandwich gives me twice as many calories as using bread or a bun...kind of reverse dieting....:). I always drink whole milk, so I have made sure I am drinking at least two full cups of that per day...plus plenty of other juices, etc.
The pain medication that I am taking, as most, causes constipation, so I have had to deal with that. My head (thoughts) are truly fine with it, and I'm surprisingly NOT uncomfortable physically....??? I just keep eating things that I know usually keep me regular, and the recommended stool softener (NEVER laxatives), and I trust that it will all work out..no pun intended!!
So far, this experience has been one more affirmation to me that my dedication is grounded for continued recovery. The "critters" that have so often stayed in the background, waiting to pounce on me during my weaker moments, are no longer there!!
I'm looking forward to many exciting opportunities in the next couple of months, and I'm beginning to believe that I will feel GREAT and be able to participate and enjoy them 100%!!