I can remember years ago while I was still seeing a therapist, I continued to find myself caught up in the wishful thinking, complaining about what wasn't 'good', what I hated about my life, and how tired I was of fighting the eating disorder. I was easily caught up in how awful things still were, and it made it very difficult for me to switch up my thinking and take responsibility for trying some new things...instead of waiting to be forced or until I 'felt' like it. I realized that I might never 'feel' like doing certain things, which was a major part of my problem in the first place. It was never going to be easier or feel better to do things differently, at least not at first.
My therapist pointed out that I had plenty of evidence of what did NOT work. So why did I continue to think that one special day it would...without doing something different?
An eating disorder does not leave your life because YOU wish it away, or because you are aware, day by day, how it is destroying your life.
The only way to leave it behind, to disconnect the eating disorder from your day by day emotions [which we all have], is to take action. Do something different. Follow a meal plan. See a professional. Be proactive in seeking new avenues for your life if that is what you need.
Writing can be a tremendously useful tool to increase self-awareness, but what are you going to do with that awareness?
Each day is a new opportunity to change, to find a new 'tool' that can help you find your way to recovery. Or it can be another day to do nothing, to talk, write and pout about what isn't working and how miserable you are, and how many symptoms you are having as a result.
No one can be expected to be positive and upbeat every day. That is not normal either.
But we all can do something every day towards bettering our life.
What can YOU do differently today to take one more step towards healing and recovery?
Without apology ♥