I cannot control what others want, what they expect, or what they want me to do and be. I CAN control how I respond to other people's expectations.
Much of my life was spent trying to figure out what people wanted from me, who they wanted me to be, and by all means, how to make everyone aroumd me happy. MY feelings didn't come into play, but unconsciously, I fought against the expectations of others, and it appeared as an eating disorder.
Every day, people make demands on my time, energy, and emotions. I do not have to say yes to every request. I do not have to feel guilty if I say no. I still have to remind myself of these things.
I have finally learned that I don't have to sacrifice or punish myself in an attempt to meet the expectations and desires of others. I can set boundaries with others, and learn to trust and listen to myself. What a novel idea! I can set goals and direction for MY life. I can own my power with people!!
Consider how responding to another's needs will affect the course of your life. You can let them have their demands and expectations and you can allow them to have their feelings. But, you have your own power to choose the path that is right for YOU!!
Without apology....♥
when my anorexia started i too was trying to be supermom super head nurse wife daughter sister friend & volunteer & would not say NO to anyone ever ! i did it all then my ed started & became worse ! & would go all day at work with just a diet coke & still worked but then i would change clothes before i came home & run & run at the high school track till i could not any more & i was about 37 & my weight dropped to 84 & i loved my nursing now i am on disabiliy recently because of my heart problems casued by it . such a loss & an adjustment for me ! i just can not get a handle on it as i told you back in a coment . i do not know the answer now ? i know from my past experience it is back with a vengence ! my mind is brainwashed i feel if that makes sence ? & it just will not stop seems an addiction again & i ran today about 3 miles & had a diet coke & a little rice my mother says you look aweful but she never tried to listen before ! nor go to my therapy sessions ! nor any of my family ! then i was in a day program & learned a lot but now it seems i have lost that knowledge & i try to journal my thoughts to help as i did before & then i cry . god bless
ReplyDeletesunset..I hope you will seek some help again. Your level of malnutrition seems to be causing you to 'spin' with the ED once again. If you think about it, you have a heart problem, on disabiity, yet you are still running. I know it's hard to sort this out, and some of it you just can't control at this point, but you CAN be in control of getting help. Even if those around you do not understand, you need to do it for yourself. I hope you will continue to share on the websites, and feel free to write to me here or by email at janurse427@yahoo.com. Don't ever give up! Take care...Jan
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