Thursday, November 5, 2009

Are you DOing or BEing??

For many people who have suffered from an eating disorder, or who are by nature, more anxious, somewhat obsessive, or perhaps have a tendency to be perfectionistic, their success (in their minds) may be directly linked to their daily accomplishments.
I know very well what it means to evaluate my worth by the quality and quantity of what I DO, how much I accomplish, or how well I perform. I have spent most of my life striving to be 'good enough', which translated into constant efforts to please other people through performance, and as a full blown attempt to make my body 'perfect', which nearly killed me. My days were spent always DOing, always searching for acts which would prove that I am acceptable.
Now that I am fully recovered from my pattern of disordered eating and self-deprecation in numerous other ways, I am much more focused on BEing, and actively living my life fully every day. I embrace every opportunity to be present for new experiences, and I look for ways to learn more about who I am. This doesn't frighten me anymore.
Of course, I still take pride in my accomplishments, but my value is not based on how much or how well I perform.
Changing my focus has brought new peace to my life. I am now able to determine if my efforts to achieve are based on what brings me joy, and if I am allowing myself to be fully present in my daily life.
I am choosing to BE today, alive and well, instead of hanging my head in consternation, in an endless and fruitless attempt to DO my way through life.
Are YOU DOing or BEing??

1 comment:

  1. Great post! The once you begin the circular pattern of think-feel-do is difficult to stop, and it soon becomes a pattern on 'doing' without knowing why your behaving. Locus of control or something.
    Once you can step back and think of the reasons behind your doing your past the hardest bit :)
    Keep up the great words of wisdom!