Thursday, September 24, 2009

Do I Expect Too Much??

I've been very frustrated lately. While I know that my expectations for myself are still too high sometimes, I'm much nicer to myself than I use to be...:)
My house isn't spotless, and I kind of like that I can (do) still use the excuse that I 'just' had back surgery (two months ago) to put off doing housework....very different for me.
Me...the person who would follow a 'schedule' no matter matter WHO was sick, including myself, no matter how much pain I was in, no matter ANYTHING, if I didn't clean my house, blah blah blah....WHAT?? I guess I had nothing else to cling other way to feel safe..although I wasn't.
So now I have no clue when I plan to 'clean'. My house isn't dirty. I'm still anal about clutter, but a little dust, some pretty cat what?
Now what was I saying....?
I'm very frustrated at the moment with people who say they will do something, then just don't do it. Please don't commit to doing something if you aren't going to do it. And if you do, and something happens that prevents you from doing it, then TELL ME! Especially when there are third parties to know?
Of course I go back to "if you want something done (right), then you have to do it yourself".
For most of my life, I was just too stubborn to ask for help. Or I thought no one could do it 'good enough' (including myself), so of course I just never asked. That section in Nursing School about 'delegating'? Forget it.....
So DO I expect too much? I don't think so. I don't ask much of others. I know when I am thinking critically towards someone, it's usually a criticism of myself....I get that now.
I don't approach very many situations in my life with 'expectations'....huh. I can thank 'the love of my life' for that....what a man....hey, married three years today....WOOHOO!!
I expect to be treated with respect. I expect to be free to speak my voice. I expect that I will treated in like as I treat others....old fashioned? I don't think so.
Yeah...I'm frustrated that my life is narrowed in some ways due to present circumstances. I DO love my Mother-in-Law!! I WILL NOT regret this when I look back years from now...assuming that I am able to do that.
More than that, I know that I allow things to fester more than I should before I release them....THEN I SCREAM!!
So, yeah, I probably take on more than I 'should' sometimes, but who else can I count on...:)

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