Saturday, July 31, 2010

Closing the door.....forever ♥

Recovering fully from an eating disorder, for me, and I believe anyone, means that you have to close and LOCK that door forever. I do not believe that anyone has to suffer, even just a little bit, for the rest of their life.
I hear people refer to 'always having to deal with it (IT being the eating disorder), as if it will always be a part of them. I don't buy it. I am living proof that this is false.
The concept of full recovery, complete, without 'residual' thoughts, fears or behaviors, is a very difficult one to grasp, especially if you are still in the midst of working recovery.
It's not a fast process, nor an easy one, but I found that once I truly closed the door, and turned my back on it, it is no longer a part of my any way. I continue to be amazed by this, as I live my life in total freedom.
What did I do that finally allowed me to 'close the door'?
I stopped being dishonest..about my feelings, about my behaviors, and about WHO I am.
I embraced my meal plan for as long as necessary, and allowed it to be my anchor. No diet, low fat, or fat free foods are allowed in my house-at least for my consumption.
Now, I make sure that I eat WELL, which protects me from any of the old mindsets. I will NOT allow myself to procrastinate about things. I don't always have to make the prefect decision. I can change my mind, and move on. Life is too short to spend my time on things that I can't control, or that don't matter in the larger scheme of things.
I think more about 'the moment', what I want, what my body and mind need, and then I act on it.
I'm not ashamed to ask for help, to admit that I don't know everything, and I accept that I make mistakes.
Pleasing others is a nice bonus, but pleasing myself first is more important, and more powerful in the long run.
Closing the door to the eating disorder took a lot of hard work and time, but keeping it closed is much easier than I would have thought.
What is holding the door open for you? How can you close it once and for all?
It's not only possible, YOU can do it!!
Without apology...♥

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